Well, it's been a long time since I wrote in here my sweet little one. Your Mommy is a very silly girl sometimes. I constantly try and make everyone happy and then when I'm crashing and burning I realize that I can't continue to make everyone happy if I am not okay. You make me okay pumpkin. Your face, your voice, your laugh.. it all just perks me up again. I love you with all my heart and I will do anything in this world for you. I want to be the best Mom I can be. Somehow I know when I get that piece of paper and really start diving in to this company, I'll be able to afford living in NJ a little bit more. Your Mommy= college graduate and entrepreneur. Business woman by day, ruler of all things Mommy and singing at night! But for real, I want to put some roots down with you baby. I want you to go to school in the same town until you are old enough to decide where you want to be in life. I want to give you stability and comfort forever. I want you to look up to me and not follow in my footsteps. I always thought I would make a better, stronger, more bad ass version of myself. That is you Nina Bean. Don't fall in love so easily, don't try and save the world, and don't be so sensitive. PLEASE!
It's hard to believe you will be three years old on Christmas Eve. Where does the time go? I remember when you were born so clearly. You have grown up so fast. You have quite the personality on you too! The things that come out of your mouth are precious. Every night I put you in bed, give you some milk, and lay with you. I read you a book and then turn one of your DVD's on, usually Thomas, and watch you. When I go to get up, you wrap your little arms around me so tight and you say, "Don't go Mommy.. I want you." Oh my heart! You are also now getting to the "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME" stage as well. I can't wait until you're three (well, I can really) so I can put you in some activities I think you would enjoy. You love dancing so maybe ballet? Some sort of dance anyway. I definitely want you to play soccer because every little toddler running around with matching uniforms like mad not knowing what the hell they're doing is the funniest thing on the planet. Of course you will be REQUIRED to play piano. I'm sorry baby girl. It's the only thing I am going to demand you learn.
I already know you're a musician too. Just by the way you watch me play guitar. You go in to a trance and can sit there for hours listening and wanting to play. It's so rewarding to me to see you love music so much. You sing like a little angel already. I forget your little brain is like a sponge. I sing Ave Maria to you in Latin. It was my Memere's favorite song. Now when I sing it to you, you sing it with me. You know almost all of the words and how the melody goes. It's amazing to me my little one. Anyway, I just want you to know how very much I love you and how badly I want to do right by you. Sometimes I just wish we could turn back the hands of time and your Daddy, you, and me could all be happy together like it's supposed to be. Regardless if we are together or not, we both love you like mad and you will always be our number one. Until next blog my mini me.
Love,
Mum
